When I first begin working with my clients and their furbabies, one of the main things I teach them is the importance of giving their dog affection at the proper time. Did you even know that there was a right time to give a dog affection? Well, there is if you desire to have a balanced dog that follows your lead and can remain calm when you want them to be.
Affection: Best Friend Or Worst Enemy?
I have a saying that I share with my clients right from the start so that I could paint a picture for them to help them understand how important timing is when giving affection, which goes like this "Affection can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
What makes affection friend or foe is the timing and the measure in which we give the affection that can cause it to work either for or against us.
When Does Affection Work Against Us?
Along with treats and praise, affection can be a powerful tool to help us reward our furbabies when they perform the behaviors that we desire from them. But when we try to calm our dogs down with affection when they are nervous, afraid, hyper or acting aggressively, we are inadvertently nourishing the very behavior that we want them to cease doing.
We may have good intentions, but we end up miscommunicating to our dogs that we are pleased with the negative behavior that they are displaying at that very moment. This is how your dog will perceive your touch and the love you are giving, even though you are trying to calm them down.
Guests can assist dog owners in helping their dogs learn how to be calm around company.
They can help dog owners by practicing no Touch, no Talk, no Eye contact until the dog is in a calm state of mind and then give affection.
Each time we reward our dogs for behaviors that eventually upset or frustrate us, we are imprinting a snapshot on their minds - a recording, if you will, of what they think we want from them. This is when affection becomes our worst enemy, and we end up working against ourselves, working against the peace and balance we want in the home and our relationships with our pets.
Even though our pups look so cute and adorable all the time, it would greatly benefit our relationship with our dogs if we would put in the time to practice holding off on showering our pets with love, love, love all the time, give direction first, and give love its proper place.
When Does Affection Work For us?
By now, you should be able to guess if giving affection at the wrong time is creating unwanted behaviors in my dog, then giving love as a reward at the right time must be a powerful tool to create the right behaviors. And that's the good news, my friend.
If you have a dog that seems to be stuck in unwanted behavior, you can use love and affection to turn things around for you. It's all about learning to master yourself emotionally and resisting the urge to calm your dog down with a loving touch or to first think about what your dog really needs at the moment, does it need love or does it need direction first?
If you give the right direction first and your dog gives the desired behavior, you can give affection as a reward right at that moment, and if you are consistent, then your dog will finally understand what you really want from it. It will take time and practice to change how you are used to doing things, so don't be hard on yourself. You can do it!
I suggest that when you give your affection with the right timing that you also provide that affection at a lower volume and with a slower and softer touch than usual, especially if you have a dog that can rev back up from zero to sixty in 3 seconds LOL!
I also suggest to my clients that when they are training their dogs whether, with treats, praise, and affection, they should learn to give rewards when their body language shows that the dog is in a calmer state of being. The body of the dog will reveal where the brain of the dog is. I tell my clients, " Learn to reward a calm mind."
If you are wondering how to calm, correct, and redirect your dog. Please read my other blogs on these topics for more in-depth insight and instruction. Thank you for reading!
Joseph Ojeda, The Pet Pastor
Owner of Pawsitive Pet Balance, LLC