Let's face it; we love to lavish our dogs with love and affection. We can't help it sometimes, especially if we get them when they are puppies. But what we may not realize is that each time we do, we may be nurturing behavior that we may regret later on down the road. There's a saying that I make sure to share with every client that I help, and it goes like this, "Affection (love) can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
Affection: Best Friend Or Worst Enemy?
Affection in itself is not a bad thing; it's actually very important for creating healthy bonds, but what can make it work against us is the timing and the emotional state that our dogs may be in at the time we are giving them love and affection, which would either benefit our relationship or create unwanted behavioral issues.
For example, most people try to calm down their dogs while they are in a state of overexcitement or excessively barking. Often I'll see people with small dogs who are insecure and exhibiting fearful or aggressive behavior; they attempt to give their dogs affection in hopes that it would calm their furbabies down, unaware that it's the giving of affection to an insecure dog when it's in a fearful state of mind, that can be contributing to creating fear aggression in their dog. Of course, their intentions are good, but to their dogs, at that moment, they think they are being rewarded for performing an acceptable behavior.
The Right Time To Give Affection
As I touched on before, If we give them affection while they are jumping on the guest or barking at the mailman, we are nurturing the very behavior that we don't want in the first place. Our dog will miss read us and believe it's actually doing what we want them to do.
The wisest time for us to give our pet affection is when they are in a calm state of mind. This often means that we may need to help them first get into a calm state of mind before we can reward them with affection when they have given us the acceptable behavior that we are looking for.
Give Correction Before Affection
Below is a list of Corrections that can be given to your dog to help her calm down. Please refer to my other blogs that go into more detail concerning each Correction specifically, and how and when to apply them properly.
Be aware of your own energy and emotional state before applying these corrections. If you try to correct your dog when you are angry, frustrated, or nervous and unstable, you will only make your dog more excited and confused.
Correction Options:
1- Use your dog's nose - with a treat, food, or scented toy to redirect it's attention to you.
2- Use sound to block the brain from getting into a state of over-excitement, use a snap of your fingers, or a sharp shhh sound like an authoritative librarian would use in a library to create order in the room.
3- Use touch - Sometimes, the dog may be in an excited state that is too high for sound or scent to affect her brain to get her attention. This is when you could use touch in certain areas of the body to snap the brain out of the state of excitement.
4- Energy and Body Language - use upright and confident body language and energy to communicate a commanding presence to your dog.
5- Sometimes, you have to be still. In a case where you have a dog who likes to jump on you or tries to impose playtime, you can use stillness till the dog calms down.
So to sum it all up, affection will be your best friend when you learn to calm yourself before you address the excitement in your dog, or it can be a recipe for disaster if given habitually to your dog while its performing negative behaviors.
~ Joseph Ojeda, The Pet Pastor
Owner of Pawsitive Pet Balance, LLC
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